Regret from High School

I want to be done with this senior so badly. I know there are only a month left of school for us seniors but unlike the other years, this one month seems so long and so boring. I don't feel the pressure of the AP exams coming in less than a month like the years before. I remember literally not being able to sleep because I was stressed over a concept that I didn't fully grasp or a certain question type showing up on the AP exam. But this year, I feel so different. I haven't even started to prep for any of my AP exams yet and I barely even listen to those review videos that I watched countless times last year. It might be from the senioritis or just from online school and it will probably become a big mistake that I will regret in the future. But this thought made me think back to my past years at Troy High and think of some regrets that I had. I realized there are way too many to count. 

When I first got into Troy High as a freshman who is barely efficient at English, I had a plan for everything. I am going to join this club, take these classes, take the SAT this many times, apply to these colleges. I wanted the perfect and fulfilling high school experience from every single aspect. And for the first year, that is exactly what I did. I followed my plan word to word and everything turned out normal. I was just a freshman that tries hard in all of his classes and talk about cringey things with other freshmen. But I didn't feel quite satisfied. A lot of things I spent time on were just there so I can write it on some applications in the future. I didn't even enjoy doing those things. Thinking back, I regret not stopping those activities and finding new ones that I actually enjoy. It was not until the end of sophomore year when I realized my mistake. But it was too late. I actually started to pursue my interests in junior year and became happier and more outgoing, but then the pandemic hit and I was forced to give up those interests I just started to expand on. 

So for college I don't want to repeat the same mistake. I want to only have a loose plan but actually pursue my interests at the start instead of making a thorough plan for everything. I hope that I can have less regrets in college and find things that I can keep on doing forever without losing interest.