Marrying for Status

Reading Saving Sourdi was really an emotional ride; the plot was full of twists and encourages the readers to think deeply about the characters' actions and thoughts.  While the story focuses on the complex characteristics of the main characters, another major theme is the treatment of women in some Asian communities. Sourdi's poor treatments by men from the same culture as her throughout the story were accepted by herself and others. For example, at the beginning of the story, Sourdi was sexually harassed by men at the restaurant, instead of having a reaction herself, she just allowed it to happen. Similarly, when Sourdi was engaged to an older and wealthier man, even though she was still (maybe) dating Duke, her mother tried to force Duke out of Sourdi's life and force Mr. Chhay into Sourdi's life. This type of marriage is definitely rare in modern communities, but in communities that are more rural and traditional, this type of marriage is rather common.

As a person who lived 12 years in China, I know quite a lot about its people and culture. Even though I lived in a city, I was still able to meet people from rural areas and learn about their traditions. The type of marriage described in the story was really common when I listen to my family talk about rural relatives that are having a marriage. In their conversations, I often hear "Wow, he has a lot of money" or "Wow, he is a government official." I rarely hear "Wow, she loves him a lot because of his personality." Sometimes, in other rural families, the marriage is solely decided by the parents and their children will not even see his/her partner until a few months before marriage. I think this contradicts the whole point of marriage. It is supposed to be an event where two people who are in love deepen the bond but instead, it serves as a place to raise one's social status and bring wealth to the family. This type of marriage also leads to domestic abuse and discontent with the marriage. Obviously, the two people basically know nothing about each other so there will almost definitely be fighting. The best choice here would be to divorce, but unlike the society in US, divorcing is not very acceptable in Chinese communities. Usually, couples are meant to last forever, and divorced couples are treated differently by other people in the community. Marriage based on social status is accepted among many other Asian communities and is forced onto people like Sourdi no matter the person's actual personalities or the huge age gap. While I do believe social status should be a part of the final decision, I think it should be decided by the couple and based more on affection to ensure that they can live a happy life.